Underfoot

Today's passage:  Romans 16:18-27
     "And the God of peace shall bruise Satan under your feet shortly.  The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with you. Amen."
     I recognized the first part of the verse from Genesis 3.  God tells the serpent that he "will put enmity between thee and the woman, and between thy seed and her seed; it shall bruise thy head, and thou shalt bruise his heel."  Of course, God was referring to the Son He would send into the world someday.  Paul is writing this after Jesus has already been crucified and risen, so Genesis 3 has actually been fulfilled, but the Roman church will have the opportunity to bruise Satan in a different way.  I'm sure this is partly referring (and maybe wholly referring) to the verses I mentioned yesterday (See:  Marked).  A church who marks and avoids heretics will be successful, they will be victorious against Satan.  But part of me wondered about something else.
     I decided to do a little checking.  It is widely agreed that the book of Romans was written about 55-56 AD probably from Corinth.  He makes it clear in this epistle that he plans to visit the Roman church at some point in the future.  He does eventually make this trip, and as far as anyone can tell, he was martyred there around 60-61 AD.  A year or two after the book of Romans is written, one of the most antagonistic emperors of the Roman empire assumes the throne.  It is Emperor Nero.  Paul, and many of the apostles (including Peter) were believed to be killed under his rule.  I would imagine the Roman Coliseum would serve as Nero's arena but I also learned this was about 15 years too early.  Though that arena was not the location of Nero's persecution, his gardens were often lit with Christian believers as torches.
     With this information, I wonder if God directed Paul to write these words with an even wider scope in mind.  Would Satan's head be bruised by the suffering of the saints?  Would the persecution of God's church further crush Satan?  We know that because of the death of believers, the Gospel was spread even farther. And really, what could bruise Satan more than another soul lost to him?   Paul often mentions the peace and grace of God in the beginnings and ending of his epistles, but it seems particularly important in this passage, because when they were being persecuted they would need both grace and peace.  I'm not saying that is why God directed these words, but God could see the future and Paul could not.  Perhaps He meant more in the statement than even Paul could know.
     When Paul writes "shortly", it could mean anytime in the near future.  I just wonder if that near future might be in the following years when many would be put to death in His Name.  Given that possibility, we should not be filled with dread at the prospect of dying for our Lord.  If this is indeed a way that God allows believers to bruise Satan's head underfoot, then I should be like the brave soldiers who defend us and volunteer for that position.  I can't say I've gained that kind of courage yet, but if there ever is a day, I might think about the privilege I get to grind Satan's head into the pavement.  That seems like a job any Christian would be happy to take.

The Walking Alive

Today's passage:  Romans 14

7  For none of us liveth to himself, and no man dieth to himself.

8  For whether we live, we live unto the Lord, and whether we die, we die unto the Lord:  whether we live therefore, or die, we are the Lord's.

9  For to this end Christ both died, and rose, and revived, that he might be Lord both of the dead and living.

     I'm always curious about certain words in passages.  I've read these particular verses numerous times.  I've even used them in lessons to illustrate that we all have an influence on each other.  Our testimony is important.  How we live affects other people.  I understand the statement some sports figures make when they say they are not role models, because children should be looking to their parents, but like it or not guys or gals, ya are. The no man liveth unto himself part is not what I'm curious about.  What about the dying part?  No man dieth to himself.  What exactly does that mean?  And then in verse 9, it says that Christ died to be Lord both to the living and the dead.  And the most interesting word to me is in these verses is "revived".  A dead body did not rise from the tomb, it was a revived one.  As in, came back to life.  As in, was dead, but now alive.
     Zombies seem to be all the rage nowadays, and although I have never seen any of those movies or shows, let me assure you, Christ's resurrection was not a case of The Walking Dead.  Christ's exit from the Garden Tomb was not dead weight wandering around, using a human body as some kind of transport.  He was living and breathing as well, if not better, than before he was crucified Gethsemane, because He pretty well would have had a hard time breathing from the scourgings on through to giving up the Ghost.

Mary Magdalene Sees Jesus Risen
Taken from Treasures of the Bible
By Henry Davenport Northrop, D.D.
International Publishing Company, 1894

     He did this because my soul also will be revived after this earthly body sees death.  And my body and soul belong to God.  He claimed me.  He is not just Lord over my earthly body.  He is Lord over my other-earthly body as well, which will one day be turned into a heavenly body.  I don't have any idea what form it will be, but it is exciting to know that whatever it will be like, it will belong to the Lord.  It will be a revived body.  It will not be a mindless, apathetic, floating around the clouds existence.  It will be living.  Wow!  That is exciting, powerful stuff! He already breathed new life into this earthly, sinful body of mine, and I can look forward to a God-breathed heavenly body as well.
     It is not a new realization that Christ was really alive when He was resurrected, but it sure is wonderful to be reminded that what He does for me, He will do to me someday.
  "For me to live is Christ, and to die is gain."  Philippians 1:21

   

Opposed and Oppressed

Today's passage: II Samuel 20
     I'm not going to deny it.  I have put off writing about this chapter.  I seriously have been stuck.  It is excessively violent.  I'm not sure movies I've watched are as violent as what I'm reading here.  I shudder, I cringe, I wish I could just skip this chapter completely.  And I could.  I don't think anyone pays that close attention that they would notice I decided not to post what I learned here.  But I know, and I feel like when I don't write about a passage, maybe I am saying God couldn't teach me anything through it.  And He always teaches me something.
    For instance, the man mentioned in the first verse of the chapter, Sheba, a Benjamite, which would have meant he was a relative of Saul absolutely denounces David's leadership.  He encourages the rest of his tribe to do the same.  The Bible calls him a "man of Belial".  Now, God commanded Israel very particularly how to handle children of Belial.  And I'm not certain if Sheba was deemed this because he was rebelling against God's anointed, King David, or if he was involved in occultist behavior to be labeled a son of Satan.  In either case, Deuteronomy 13:12-18 gives specific charge as to how to handle these types of people.  The Israelites were to make certain that people accused of this behavior were authentic (unlike the Salem witch trials of old) and if so, they were to slay them with the sword, destroy all their livestock and belongings, make a bonfire with any of their possessions in the midst of the village and see to it that any trace of them was consumed.  Does this seem a little extreme?  For someone who has never dealt with Satanic power, it may.  I have heard on more than one occasion that when Satan has a foothold in someone's home, especially someone who had been dealing with him directly, every item they possessed was a portal to allow his demonic powers to have reign.  God always knows what He is doing.  If He said to destroy everything that person had dealings with, I think I would obey that command, because God created Satan, and He knows what He is capable of.  This also makes me wonder about Saul's whole family.  He had trouble with evil spirits, he visited the witch at En-dor, it makes me wonder if the Benjamites had a history with the occult. If they did, it could explain Saul's constant struggle with those powers. If he couldn't be free of them, it could mean that he still had something in his possession, something that was a doorway for those dark, evil, oppressions he had been experiencing.  I've heard a lot about this kind of stuff lately.  Satan has no power over us, but don't think he can't mess with us a little bit.  He certainly can.  His power is real, and though not more powerful than God, he has dominion over this world, and therefore, can manipulate the things of this earth by his choosing.  If the Benjamites were often involved in these types of activities, it might be why David commmanded his generals to go after Sheba.  He concludes that "Now shall Sheba the son of Bichri do us more harm than did Absalom".

     So David dispenses his men to go after this son of Belial.  In the midst of this is a vengeful Joab.  Amasa is the one David chooses to lead up this expedition against Sheba.  I'm guessing his relationship with Joab has never been the same since Absalom's death.  David choosing Amasa , who aided Absalom, was an even greater insult to his former general.  Joab never forgets an enemy.  He had not forgotten that Amasa chose to work with those against the king.  He would not allow this to stand.  David may have forgiven Amasa, but Joab certainly would not.  And in true Joab style, he kills Amasa.  But this is not just a soldier against soldier killing.  This is a vengeful, make the enemy suffer type of death.  I would rather not describe it.  The Bible does a fine job on its own.  Let's just say Amasa's death is so horrific that others going by can not help but stare in disbelief.  His body actually becomes a distraction to the rest of the regiment pursuing Sheba.  Someone was finally wise enough to move and cover this distraction.
     Joab takes charge of the campaign and comes to the city that is harboring Sheba.  The inhabitants do not want war, especially not with Joab.  His name has become a name to be feared. The passage says "a wise woman out of the the city" confers with Joab about why he wants to destroy their fine city.  Joab assures her that is not his desire, but they will accomplish their mission and that is to fetch Sheba.  The woman determines that the city will handle Sheba.  Again, another description of his demise by the citizens of the city.  The objective was achieved.
     There is really no excuse for Joab's behavior towards Amasa.  He viewed him as a threat and an enemy.  I think it was more that he viewed him as a rival as the king's adviser.  Joab may think that eliminating other counselors or generals will heal the relationship with David.  But he is wrong.  That can only heal with the miracle of forgiveness.  I'm not saying it would be a miracle for David to forgive.  I'm saying that forgiveness is a miracle in itself when it can mend a broken relationship between a king who has lost his rebellious son, and the general who has taken the rebellious son's life and who has continuously disobeyed his king.  I don't see how this relationship can be mended.  But forgiveness is powerful when we choose to use it. Do I think Joab deserves forgiveness?  From a human perspective, no.  He has been given many, many chances.  But so have I.  I don't deserve any of the forgiveness I have been granted either.  May I ever be mindful of God's great forgiveness to me every day.

Grief Postponed

Today's passage:  II Samuel 19:1-8
     "To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:...A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;"  Ecclesiastes 3:1,4
     It has been seven years since my father's passing.  At the time, I had to put my grief on hold temporarily because there were things to be done.  As the oldest of my mother and father's children (I have an older half-sister from my father's first marriage) my brothers and sisters looked to me to handle the details of arrangements.  I had to write my father's obituary.  Can I tell you how wrenching that is? ( My mother is going to read this today and I have no doubt that she is going to cry.  I'm sorry, Mom, but it perfectly illustrates today's passage.  And I think it is probably a little therapeutic for me. ) Writing about my father's life, not so hard, writing about his death, significantly harder.  Adjusting and editing so the word length fit the required space, frustrating.  How can you encapsulate a person's life in a paragraph?  Especially a parent who deserves an entire book?  We were giving my father a military burial which meant coordinating the pastor's schedule, the funeral home's schedule, the veteran's cemetery schedule.  There were people to call, some I had not talked to for years, to notify of Dad's death.  (By the way, I would not have you to believe that my siblings did nothing--  I took the lead for the major details  They especially helped with notifications.  My sister-in-law specifically aided me in this part of the process. ) For a while there, I'm not sure I had cried one tear.  I didn't really have time.  I shed ample tears at the actual service.
     The week following, I was able to stay with my Mom and go through paperwork.  Oh my goodness, what an amount of paperwork there was to sort!  It was surprising since my father's job involved office managerial tasks almost his entire working life.  But it was evidence of his failing health in the prior few years.  I threw myself into setting up a filing system my mother could manage.  I called credit card companies, tax people, insurance groups.   And I was glad to do it.  In a funny way, it was a sort of tribute to my Dad.  He had taught me these very skills that I was using to be able to help Mom.  This little piece of himself he had left behind in me, almost as if he knew I would need to do this someday.  I had never thought about that before today, and I'm not saying my brothers or sisters do not possess some of those same skills, but at that time, I was the one who was able to do it.
     The passage today takes me back there.  Why? Because there were moments (and really only moments, because I am the type of person who wants a short grief and then back to action) when I would have loved to put the obituary writing to the side and just reminisce.  Visitors came in and out of the house all day long for that week, for which I am extremely grateful, because it was a needful thing for all of our family.  Friends would pop into the office and say hi, and as much as I wanted to sit and visit, I really couldn't.  I had only a limited time to get these tasks completed.  I had to make sure Mom had her financial house in order.  It is kind of like that for David, here.  I mean, Absalom's death has just happened.  David has barely had time to mourn this son.  The people see his grief, and begin to wonder if they made the wrong choice to fight for him.    They come back from battle rejoicing that the enemy has been defeated, but then they hear the wailing of the king and begin to think maybe they had made some kind of mistake.  Weren't they supposed to quell this rebellion?  Wasn't it a good thing the usurper was not able to wreak any more havoc?  Joab arrives from battle, quickly assesses the situation, and in true Joab style, gives King David his presentation of the cold hard facts.  And here they are.  Yes, King, your son is dead, but you better gather yourself and let these people know you appreciate how hard they fought for you, or you will not have a kingdom left, because they will go fight for someone else to replace you.

David Mourning the Death of Absalom
By Gustav Dore
Courtesy of www.creationism.org

     There is never enough time to mourn the passing of someone we love.  There is never a timetable for grief.  Life does not stand still while we are anguished.  I can't say that I don't think Joab was a little heartless here.  His mission mentality sometimes disregarded people and only saw tasks.  It is often the case in leaders.  I'm sure if Joab could have allowed David to grieve, he would have, but the country needed a leader at this moment, and David had to be that man.  Oddly, it reminds me of our country shortly after September 11, 2001.  When our country was in crisis, we looked to our leaders to console us, to tell us what to do next.  Joab knew his uncle well enough to know that David might have grieved for weeks before uttering a word to his countrymen.  They did not have that kind of time.  The throne was still at stake.  David followed Joab's advice.  But I'm sure he did not want to.  I'm certain he would have wept on the roof of that house for much longer, and it would have been understandable.  Joab may have seemed unusually cruel here, but he was also unusually perceptive.  He doesn't seem to be a man of great feeling, and I'm guessing he would prefer to confront an enemy than confront his own emotions, or the emotions of the king.  He is a let's-keep-moving sort of guy.  So we have this bump in the road, let's figure out how to get past it and onto the next thing.  David needed that kind of man as his trusted adviser, because David felt everything, and he felt it intensely.  He relished relationships.  He saw people, not just production.  Now his vision blurred with a relationship lost, he needed his task-oriented general to jolt him into the day's realities.  Moving forward would be arduous, it would be demanding, it would be taxing.  There would be another time to wallow in his sorrow, but for this moment, his grief would need to be delayed.
     I would not change anything about how things happened after Dad's death.  I would not have asked for a reprieve from the tasks before me that week.  To be honest, I have a little of Joab in me.  Give me a problem to solve, I would rather deal with that, than my own emotions.  I felt useful, and I was glad to be of use.  Mom, I would not have wanted it any other way, I do not write any of this out of regret, only reflection.  Knowing you, you will want to make things up to me somehow around the Christmas table, invite our friends and give me a chance to really reminisce about Dad.  I've done plenty of that in the passing years.  I don't feel gypped.  I don't feel cheated.  I feel like Dad instilled a little something in all of us, and I was doing what Dad would have done, had it been you going before us.  I feel like it was my gift to you, to be able to be your sounding board, your manager.  I pray that you won't see any complaint in this post, only contemplation.

At A Loss

Today's passage:  II Samuel 18: 18-33
     "And the king was much moved, and went up to the chamber over the gate, and wept:  and as he went, thus he said, O my son Absalom, my son, my son Absalom!  would God I had died for thee, O Absalom, my son, my son!"  I am moved to tears reading this verse.  The angst and anguish in David's voice reaches me even now.  I have three sons, and I would die for any one of them, even if the consequences of sin had justified their passing.

David weeping over the death of Absalom--Taken from Standard Bible Story Readers, Book Six
By Lillie A. Faris, Illustrated by O.A. Stemler and Bess Bruce Cleaveland
The Standard Publishing Company, 1929

     That's when I think that God knew exactly how David felt.  I know He had to send his son Jesus Christ, to reconcile my sin. His death had to happen because of me.  My failings brought Him to that Golgotha hill over two thousand years ago.  When Christ was on the cross, how badly God the Father would have rather taken God the Son's place. Was God in Heaven uttering those same words about His Son that day?  "O my son Jesus, my son, my son Jesus!  would I had died for thee, O Jesus, my son, my son!"  How can we ever think God doesn't understand?  He understands all too well.  He understands again and again when the people He created live a whole life never acknowledging Him and what He sent His Son to do for them.  How would any one of us feel if our children claimed we didn't exist, if they lived their whole lives pretending we weren't there, if they spent years running away from us and denying us?  Everyday God deals with that.  And not by just one or two of his children, by thousands, by millions.  Up to this point, David has lost at least three children.  His grown sons Amnon and Absalom, and the first child (which David refers to as "he" and "him") with Bathsheba.  To lose one child is heartbreaking.  To lose more than one, devastation.  And to lose them all at once, as Job did, seemingly unbearable.  Yet God loses His children every day.  Millions never recognize Him.  Millions never look up or reach up.  God's heart breaks every day.  He is anguished by this.  One of my favorite hymns is "Does Jesus Care?" by Joseph Lincoln Hall and Frank E. Graeff.  Whenever I think that possibly God can't understand anything I am going through, I sing or hum this song to myself.  Maybe someone today could benefit from reading the lyrics.  I've included verses one and four here.

Does Jesus care?  When my heart is pained
Too deeply for mirth or song,
As the burdens press,
And the cares distress,
And the way grows weary and long?

O yes, He cares, I know He cares,
His heart is touched with my grief;
When the days are weary,
The long night dreary,
I know my Savior cares. 

Does Jesus care when I've said "goodbye"
To the dearest on earth to me,
And my sad heart aches,
Till it nearly breaks,
Is it aught to Him?  Does He see?
O yes, He cares, I know He cares,
His heart is touched with my grief,
When the days are weary,
The long night dreary,
I know my Savior cares.

And He does.

Generally Speaking

Today's passage:  II Samuel 18: 1-17
     There is no easy explanation for Joab.  He is a warrior with a military mindset.  Often he goes into a situation with a "kill or be killed" attitude.  And why shouldn't he since he has practically led every battle since David has been king? He is King David's nephew and has been his trusted friend and go-to guy.  He doesn't always carry out David's orders as precisely as he should.  Since he was family, he sometimes disregarded David's commands if he thought the ends would justify the means.  Since David was his uncle, he sometimes disobeyed David's orders because it was bad strategy.  As the general, he was in the midst of the conflict and he could see what would be best for the kingdom.  And being related to the king, meant that the king would more than likely show leniency with him as long as the battle turned out in their favor.  Joab hasn't always gone along with the program, but I have no doubts that his motives were pure, that his intentions were sincere.  His ambition was to serve his king, and if that meant defying him sometimes to keep him protected, than he had no qualms about doing that.  He respects David, but he doesn't fear him.  He knows that David values loyalty.  And like his methods or not, Joab is loyal.
     Absalom has decided to take Hushai's advice and go after his father himself.  This leaves David with no other option than to have his men try to subdue him.  This breaks David's heart.  We can see how anguished he is when in verse 5 he says, "Deal gently for my sake with the young man, even with Absalom."  Doesn't sound like a lot of wiggle room in that statement.  It is not a wanted-dead-or-alive command by any means.  So I know Joab does not misinterpret this, he just chooses to forget he heard it.  From Joab's perspective, his cousin Absalom has caused nothing but grief for David for a few years now.  Joab may feel partially responsible for this, since it was at his own bidding that Absalom was invited back to the palace.  Joab thought David and Absalom could mend their relationship, but instead it had become more strained.  And then Absalom decides to rebel against his father in the most despicable way.  I'm sure Joab was not only infuriated by Absalom's actions, but humiliated.  Joab was probably muttering to himself, if he had just stayed out of this family affair, if he had only kept his thoughts to himself, if he had never encouraged David to reach out to Absalom then they would not be in this mess.  Had his heart not been touched by his cousin's despair at being isolated from his father, he might not have to contend with this family war.

Absalom is caught in a tree--Taken from The Boys of the Bible
By Hartwell James
Henry Altemus Company, 1905, 1916

     There is no disputing what David said as Joab departs to fight this battle.  Every one of the soldiers understood this clear order to spare Absalom if it could at all be helped.  When Absalom's abundance of hair (maybe he should have had it cut before riding into the woods) gets caught in some tree branches, donkey surging on ahead without him, he is a pitiful sight.  He must have been really stuck, because I'm sure he must have been flailing about trying to free himself to no avail.  He can not harm any one in this vulnerable position.  Even if he had bow and arrow on him, he is not likely to get off a good shot.  One of David's soldiers reports this situation to Joab.  Joab rebukes the soldier for sparing him.  The soldier is not apologetic for following the king's orders.  He even argues that had he decided upon this action, Joab would have not backed him, but would have left him out to dry.  This soldier does not have the advantage of a familial relationship with the king.  He reminds Joab clearly of David's plea to not kill Absalom.  Joab really has no excuse here, and feels he doesn't need one.  This cousin of his, had more than aggravated his father, he had aggravated him.  This was an embarrassing situation-- to be fighting in the woods trying to regain the throne from the one he had tried to help.  Joab felt that if they were to spare Absalom, this would be a sign of weakness to any other usurper.  If, however, the king's own son were duly punished for his treasonous act, wouldn't it cause future rebels to tread more cautiously?  Joab does not spare Absalom.  And it is not pretty.  He shoots three arrows directly into him, and has ten armorbearers finish him off.  Then they dig a hole and bury the body in the woods, covering it with stones.
     I'm not sure how Joab is going to explain this disobedience because I chose not to finish reading the chapter at this point, but I know there are enough witnesses to make Joab look really bad.  Joab doesn't seem too concerned.  He did what he felt needed to be done.  He knows what the king said, but just as he has done in the past, he also knows that he is trying to keep his king on the throne as long as possible, and he will take any action necessary to achieve that.  Is Joab happy about this deed?  I doubt it.  He just killed his cousin.  That can't be a euphoric feeling, but Joab keeps his feelings on the sidelines when it comes to battle.  He has an almost robotic response when he has a military decision to make.  Disregard feelings, disregard orders, disregard relationships.  What is going to achieve the objective?  Joab was a man of action.  He was decisive.  This is why David keeps him as one of his generals.
     I'm not saying Joab was right or wrong here.  If he allowed Absalom to live, Joab knew David would have forgiven him and he knew Absalom would have probably attempted this same thing again, and possibly succeed the next time.  Do I think Joab should have disregarded David's orders?  Not really.  But I also know, that God was meting out judgement on Absalom and it is unfortunate that this is how it came to pass.  Absalom wasn't exactly merciful towards his brother (not saying he should have been).  And his lack of mercy on Amnon brought about a lack of mercy from Joab.  But I won't be surprised if Joab's lack of mercy is revisited upon himself.

The Cookie Crumbles

Today's passage:  II Samuel 13
     This is not a passage for the faint of heart.  It is one of the more difficult passages of the Bible because of the adult content in it.  In fact, trying to deal delicately with such subject matter must be a difficult job for a preacher, because there is little way to handle it delicately and still deliver the message that needs to be presented.  It is a chapter that causes me to cringe.  And yet, there is something here God wants us to learn.  Probably several somethings.
     One thing that God wants us to know is that marrying several women can create complications among the children.  I've said it before, and I will say it again, because I assure you, the movement is on the horizon.  Polygamy is trying to make a big comeback in this country.  There are TV shows promoting it, and while maybe not advocating for it, trying to pave the way for acceptance.  I don't watch any of them, but I have heard of at least 2 or 3 shows where a man has more than one wife.  And the entire point is to make them seem like a normal family.  Well, it is not normal.  God never designed for man to have more than one wife.  If He had, Adam would have had Eve #1 and Eve #2.  It happened a lot in the Old Testament, and in every instance it was trouble.  As early back as Abram and Sarai, when Hagar is introduced into the picture and Ishmael is born, multiple wives produced complications.  And that is a complication that has continued on to this day, with the Muslim world declaring Ishmael to be God's heir when clearly it was to be Isaac. The ancestors of these two children are still fighting.  It was not necessary.  Unfortunately, David's marriages were going to cause another kind of trouble among his children.  I'm sure there must have been a lot of arguing about which wife had preeminence, and therefore which son would be the next king.  It was natural that these jealousies would arise. Would they have surfaced had all the children been from the same woman?  Yes, it was likely that could have happened too, but everyone would eventually agree that the firstborn was heir to the throne.  In David's case, he had a firstborn with Maachah (Absalom), and a firstborn with Abigail (Chileab), and a firstborn with Ahinoam (Amnon) and a firstborn with Bath-sheba (the firstborn died, but the first to live was Solomon).  I mean there would be a lot of disputes as to whose son was the real firstborn.  But having so many wives with children from each wife also brings about other difficulties as seen in this passage.
     God also would want us to realize that love and lust are two completely different things.  Amnon does not love his half-sister.  He tries to convince others he does because that sounds nobler than to say he just wants to rob her of her virginity.  There is no love involved here.    Love does not deceive a young maiden into being a nursemaid for a person who is not sick in order to prey upon her.  Love does not turn to hatred within minutes. Love does not force a person against her will, and then having its way throw the person out into the cold. That is not true love.  Those are the characteristics of lust.  This poor, poor girl.  After the act is committed against her, she is more horrified because no other man will want her now, and Amnon doesn't even have the decency to take her as his wife, now that he has stolen the most precious gift she had to offer any man.  It is no wonder that when Tamar's full-blood brother Absalom learns of it, he is enraged.
     But here is the most shocking thing of all in this passage, and I can't wrap my head around it.  Maybe I'm too unfamiliar with Middle Eastern culture to understand, but David finds out about this horrific deed and does nothing.  "But when king David heard of all these things, he was very wroth."  That's it.  That is all that is said about the matter.  It is obvious that he didn't deal with the situation, or if he did he must have been extremely lenient, because it is what drives Absalom to take matters into his own hands and avenge his violated sister.  And really, I can't say I blame him.  I cheer for vigilante justice sometimes in the movies, and this just seems to be another brand.  But really, what was David thinking?  How could he let such an act go? This was his oldest son, the future king behaving this way?  It is obvious that Amnon was indulged, perhaps because he was the successor to the throne.  But being an indulgent father, and a father who completely looks the other way are two different things.  It is shameful.
     Two years go by, and Amnon is still strolling about the palace, possibly smugly smiling at Absalom like the cat who ate the canary every time he passes him by.  Very likely, sneering at Tamar any time he has the chance.  Absalom shows remarkable restraint.  "And Absalom spake unto his brother Amnon neither good nor bad:  for Absalom hated Amnon, because he had forced his sister Tamar."  What is that saying--  "Watch out for the quiet ones." ? This is one of those cases.   Absalom waits two years to carry out revenge.  And I'm not saying he was right to do it, but it is easy to see why he would when King David did nothing.  Amnon continued to bait Absalom all the while.  I'm starting to think that David's family put the dys- in dysfunctional.  Actually, that may have started with Jacob and his several wives/several children brood.
     This is just not a pleasant chapter to read.  It goes from bad to worse.  Absalom is not punished for murdering his brother, which conveniently puts Absalom as next in line for the throne.  No power motives there, right?  David's boys must have been used to having things done their way, and if in the past they have not suffered consequences for their actions, it is no wonder they think this.
     What can I learn here?  As awful a parent as David is in this chapter, there are going to be times in my life when I really will not know what to do with my children, or how to deal with them properly.

Heads or Tails

Today's passage:  I Samuel 12
    Heads, you win.  Tails, you lose.  I think some people think this is how God handles our lives.  That somehow God is up in Heaven flipping a coin, and depending on which side faces up is how He will deal with us.  I'm thankful that my God is so much more complex than that.
     Reading this passage about David's brokenness over the consequences for his sin, reminds me a bit of "Heads or Tails", not because that is how God deals with Him, but because we are apt to think that if David says some kind of magic prayer, he will end up with the heads side of the coin and everything will be hunky-dory.  God does not work that way.  If our lives were just a coin to God, why is it so many people have more Tails than Heads?  If our lives were just a flip in the air, leaving things to chance, then we would have no reason to live in a way that was pleasing to God, because the outcome would never have any connection to how we lived.

The Death of David and Bathsheba's Son--Taken from Treasures of the Bible (The United Kingdom)
By Henry Davenport Northrop, D.D.
The International Publishing Company, 1894

     In this passage, God could have spared David's unborn child.  He could have considered David's heartfelt pleas and stayed His Hand.  But He doesn't.  It is not because David got the Tails side of the coin.  It is because God knows how best to handle David's heart.  He knows how best to handle mine.  When I was a teen, there was a song by a pop music parody master that said, "I'd rather rip my heart right out of my rib cage with my bare hands and then throw it on the floor and stomp on it til I die..."  Humorous, but haven't we all had those moments?  Those times in our life when it felt like God was ripping our heart out of our chest and holding it in His bare but capable Hands?  Or worse, throwing it to the floor and stomping on it?  David's face to the ground, his eyes overflowing with tears, his heart too full for food or company is pleading for God's mercy.  Doesn't God hear him?  Shouldn't God spare him?  I can't answer that.  I can't understand God's ways.  I know that David is not the only one who had sinned.  Who knows that God's decision to bring this judgement might not have been for Bathsheba?  He was holding her heart too.  God was not up in Heaven, laughing deviously, flipping a coin, saying, "Well, let's see how this all comes out.  I'll let this nickel decide."  God is purposeful.  God is just.  God wants my worship.  God wants my best.  He knows best how to achieve those things in my life, and in the lives of others.  And since I am not a navigator of hearts, I am not a spelunker of those inner caverns, I cannot pretend to know what God already does.  He holds that pulsating center of thoughts and emotions in His hands, and He knows how tightly to squeeze to get it pumping again.  He knows just how much pressure to apply to make it pulse for Him.
     Poor David.  I can say that, and my emotions be little affected because I didn't know him.  I can objectively read this passage and not be touched by his pain.  But there are people who have impacted my life, who may be in a similar situation as David was.  No, they may not be about to lose a child (or they may be), they may not have sinned as egregiously as David did, yet their sin is costing them.  God may have their heart that is in no way connected to mistakes or unholiness.  Those Davids may be beseeching God for mercy in their lives.  And God will give it.  But not necessarily in the situation they are in.  After God took David's child, despite the broken heart, the earnest prayers, God was merciful.  How?  God gave David another son, Solomon.  And He allowed him to win another battle against the Ammonites, the battle they should have won when Uriah was killed.  God created us.  He knows how best to keep us alive and afresh for Him.  Just because I say it doesn't make us automaton's devoid of emotion and reason, yahooing every difficult circumstance in our lives.  But it makes me feel a whole lot better knowing that the One who created my heart, knows exactly what to do with it.  And that gives me much more peace than a coin flip.

I Did it My Way

Today's passage:  II Samuel 11
     Maybe the reason we have so many bumps in our road in this life is because when we have too many victories, too many successes, we lose our way and wander from God.  I can only believe that is what happened to David in this chapter.  What happened here?  How did David go from being a man who asked God what to do, who quelled his enemies (all Jehovah haters) to such depravity in this passage?  It is hard to fathom.  But it certainly shows me how careful I must be.  It is a warning that each day we must live anew and devoted to God.  I can not assume that because yesterday was a "good" day, that today will not be a bad one. I can not depend on the Bible reading and prayer from last week to get me through this week.  I need to be searching for God each and every day of life.  I need to grasp hold of His wonderful mercies, of His Words of Life every day that I can.  Does it mean I still may fall?  Yes.  But the more of God's Word I have in me, the more of His wisdom I have.  The more wisdom I have, the more able I am to discern situations and hopefully steer clear of ones that could doom me.
     Let me point out one more thing in this passage.  Sometimes if we want to do things our way long enough, God says okay.  What am I talking about?  After David has committed this sin with Bathsheba, after he finds out they are going to have a child together, he does everything he can to make it look like Uriah fathered that child.  He calls him back from battle and encourages him to go home to his wife.  This backfires because Uriah has an inordinate sense of duty which dictates to his conscience that he should still act the soldier even back on the home front.  So then, David keeps Uriah off the battlefield for a few days, apparently getting him drunk so that his conscience will be dimmed, and then perhaps he will go home to his wife.  This doesn't work either.  Too intoxicated, Uriah can only stumble as far as the servant's quarters, where he spends the night.  David is getting frustrated.  Does it seem that maybe God is giving David an out here?  I mean, in both of these instances, David could have made this situation right.  He could have owned up to his sin, asked forgiveness of this brother, and let God handle the matter.  But David is still plotting and scheming.  He gives Uriah a note to deliver to Joab when he returns to battle.  David has assessed enough about Uriah that his loyalty will have him deliver his own death warrant to the general, unopened and unread.

Nathan Confronts David
Original source and illustrator unknown

     Think about that.  Wasn't Uriah even a little curious as to what the letter contained?  Wouldn't he have wanted to sneak a little peek?  God could have had that happen.  That certainly would have been an awkward scenario.  But God lets David carry out this treacherous plan.  Uriah delivers the letter with David's wishes to have him killed, Joab reads and seems to immediately understand the situation.  Maybe Joab had been accustomed to David's wandering eye.  David did have a few wives already.  Joab does not ask questions.  He does what his king orders.  The move he makes is contrary to any he would make at other times.  Joab is too good of a military leader to do what he does here.  He moves his troops ridiculously close to the enemy wall.  In Judges, there is a similar story, where Gideon's son, Abimelech goes close to the wall and a woman drops a millstone on his head, which injures him enough that he could die a slow suffering death.  He chooses to have his men to run him through so that his death is quick and so that a woman does not get the credit for his demise.  Joab refers to this incident when he sends a messenger back to David to inform him of Uriah's death.  He basically tells him, "Ordinarily, we wouldn't have been so close to the wall as our forefather, Abimelech, but you did want Uriah dead, and we achieved that objective."
     David is relieved.  Little does he know that God allowing him to have his own way, is going to bring greater grief than David feels he can bear.  Sometimes God lets us have our own way.  Many times He gives us chances to make things right, to come clean, but if we refuse, God will allow us to bear the full consequences of our choices.  I will make mistakes.  I will make big mistakes.  Prayerfully, at the first opportunity, I will make it right, and not compound it with more foolish choices.  Prayerfully, I will allow His Word to saturate my decision making to avoid the mistake in the first place.  God allows me to do things my way, but it doesn't mean I will get away with sin.

Peace and Paranoia

Today's passage:  II  Samuel 4
     The Israelites would soon learn that they were serving under a very different king.  After Abner's death, Ish-bosheth is afraid for his life and his kingdom.  He depended on Abner's counsel.  Actually, I think he depended on Abner's decisions, since it doesn't appear Ish-bosheth ever makes one.  He will not get a chance to prove he can do things without Abner's help either, because two of his father's military men murder him in his own bed.  They had apparently not heard what happened to the Amalekite who assisted, or said he assisted, in Saul's demise.  They believe this action against Ish-bosheth will result in David's confidence.  Saul would have rewarded them for such an act (well, maybe not against his own son).  They were used to working for a king who pursued enemies, real or invisible.  They had been accustomed to alleviating paranoia by eliminating any potential threats to the throne.  They think they are showing loyalty, but it will not be a brand of loyalty David appreciates or rewards.
     When these men present Ish-bosheth's trophy head to David, he responds by having these same men's hands and feet cut off, and then hanging their bodies for display above a pool.  I'm thinking this is probably not what they were expecting.  David wants to send a clear message, since the Amalekite's death did not seem to do the job, that the new king will not tolerate anyone who takes these matters into their own hands.
     What was the main difference between Saul and David?  Saul encouraged his men to destroy his enemies, even if he just believed them to oppose him.  David trusted God to take care of the opposition.  David knew that God had placed him on the throne.  He trusted that if God had put him there, then God would handle those who tried to usurp him.  David is not a worrier.  He does not pace the floor, wondering when the rest of the tribes will fall in line and recognize his leadership.  He leaves those things to the Lord.  This is not to say he didn't have armed guards or watchkeepers.  This does not mean he didn't have a military strategy in place should enemies storm the castle.  He would defend his kingdom, but he did not see the need to go on the offense, and mow down regents or anyone else in Saul's line who might be Ish-bosheth's successor.
     Saul, on the other hand seemed consumed with securing his throne.  He could not rest easily unless he or his men were pursuing any threats to his reign.  Perhaps, he never really felt confident that God had put him in that position.  I only know that Saul and David's  approach was different because their trust was different.  Saul believed it was his kingship.  David believed it was His kingship. 
    That one letter changes a person's perspective. When I leave everything in His hands, I don't have to worry about my enemies, my opposers, my critics.  God will take care of those who try to sully my name, who make false accusations, who paint me in a bad light.  Should I be ousted from my position, if He is the One who put me in it to begin with, I have to trust that He knows what He is doing and is taking me out of that position for a little while.  I don't have to go looking for my enemies, they will always be around.  But God could be using them in my life to either build up my faith in Him, to allow me to be a witness to them, or to show His strength and His ability to handle the situation.   David trusted in God when he was on the throne, before he was on the throne, and during the times he was taken off the throne.  He always knew that if it was God's plan, he would be put back in his rightful place, and if it was not God's plan, than His plan was better.  With that perspective, with that foresight, David was able to be one of Israel's greatest kings.  He made mistakes, he wasn't perfect, but David trusted God to even help him in his messes.  God can help me in mine.

Apple Bite

Today's passage:  Mark 8:36
     "For what shall it profit a man, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul?"

     Innovator.  Visionary.  Entrepreneur.  Technology Genius.  Inventor.  These are only a few descriptors I have heard, referring to Steve Jobs, co-founder of Apple, Inc.  His products have changed our world.  His death was not a huge surprise, his battle with cancer no big secret.  As with anyone who passes on from this life, I am sad for his family.  I also wonder about his eternal future.  He was once quoted in the Summer 1993 edition of the Wall Street Journal as saying:

"Being the richest man in the cemetery doesn't matter to me...Going to bed at night saying we've done something wonderful...that's what matters to me."

     I have no doubt he was able to go to bed at night knowing he had done something wonderful in this world, I just wonder how much peace he had about the next.  I researched many quotes he gave over the years of his life, some for which I could not find the sources.  Here are some quotes attributed to him:

     "Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life.  Don't be trapped by dogma--which is living with the results of other people's thinking.  Don't let the noise of other's opinions drown out your own inner voice..."  (Taken from a Stanford University Address in 2005)

     "I want to put a ding in the universe."  (I could not find the source.)

     "Here's to the crazy one, the misfits, the rebels, the troublemakers, the round pegs in the square holes...the ones who see things differently they're not fond of rules...You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them, but the only thing you can't do is ignore them because they change things...they push the human race forward, and while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius, because the ones who are crazy enough to think that they can change the world, are the ones who do."  (I could not find the source.)

     "We have always been shameless about stealing great ideas."  PBS series, Triumph of the Nerds (1996)

     "Again, you can't connect the dots looking forward, you can only connect them looking backwards.  So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future.  You have to trust in something--your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever.  This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life."  (Stanford University Address, 2005)

     "I would trade all of my technology for an afternoon with Socrates."  Newsweek, October 29, 2001

     "We want to stand at the intersection of computers and humanism."  (I could not find the source.)

     It may seem heartless to post about the death of a man who may not have known God, or if he knew Him, only in a "He might be out there" sort of way.  I do not write this to bring pain or judgement or criticism.  I just think that when anyone who we deem important passes from this life, it is important to take stock in our own lives, and examine for what or for whom we are living.  As testimonials poured in on the news stations, one image particularly caught my attention.  I could not get the image to embed here, but I have provided the link,  http://abclocal.go.com/wls/video?id=8380876, if you are interested in looking at it.  The very last image of this almost three minute news segment arrested me.  It was something I had not thought about before.  If you choose not to check out the link, I will describe it as best as I can.  Imagine a black background with a black Apple logo.  Just behind this is a white glow appearing from behind the logo with white writing on the black apple.  It is almost as if Jobs is speaking to us from the afterlife.  Somehow that glowing apple reminded me of something.  Although the idea for the logo itself is attributed to Isaac Newton under the apple tree, a more religious icon came to my mind.  A bite out of an apple.  What Bible story does that most frequently reference?  Of course, I would be talking about Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden.  The Bible does not say that the fruit was an apple, but many of the artistic renderings picture just that.  I know Apple's CEO was not making any kind of reference to God or the Bible when he commissioned this logo, but isn't it a little ironic, that everything always points back to God?  The thought of what the bite from the apple symbolizes may have more significance than even he knew.  I have no way of knowing whether this innovative engineer is in Heaven or Hell.  I pray that as he closed his eyes on this earth for one last time, that he uttered a salvation prayer, if he had never done so before in his life.  From all the quotes of his life, it doesn't seem that he ever gave acknowledgement to the God of the universe.  He may have changed our world, but he has no power over the next.
   In an All Things Digital Conference on May 30, 2007, Steve Jobs was talking about how the ITunes software caused Apple to be the largest developer for Microsoft Windows.  Here is what he said:

     "It's like giving ice water to somebody in hell!"

     Let's pray that this was not a prophetic statement for the man himself.  The verse at the top of the post is my husband's favorite.  It really gets to the heart of what life is all about.  We might have creative leanings, we may have ingenious ideas, but if we never give credit to the Creator who put those ideas and dreams in us, we have this life only, and nothing in the next.  The life after this is eternal, I think I would rather be investing in that.

Regrets

Today's passage:  I Corinthians 7:1-16
     "And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him."
     For most of my childhood, our family was in and out of church.  When we did go, it was always our mother that took us.  I didn't know until I was a little older that men even went to church.  I guess movies I watched, and friends I had only went to church with their moms.  My father was actually the one that encouraged us to try out a Baptist church, when I was in junior high school.  He grew up in an Oklahoma Southern Baptist church.  My mother had been to what she thought was a Baptist church in the deep south and she said they were running up and down the aisles.  It scared her.  She decided to give it another go.  For the first time in our lives, we heard a clear presentation of the gospel.  I'm not saying that the gospel hadn't been presented in some of the other denominational churches we had attended, mostly the base chapel Protestant service, but it never broke through to us like it did in this Baptist church.  Our lives changed.  We were challenged to accept Christ, to attend faithfully, to read His Word, to be involved.  It is where I was grounded in my faith.  My father was glad that we had found a church.  He was still not interested in attending with us.  I don't know what happened when he was younger, but after he left home, I think he stopped going.  In his later years, he would go with us to one service every couple years.  We always thought that was a great milestone, because before, he would always say no.  I used to pray for him each day.  Not so much that he would go to church, but I was very unsure that he was even saved.  I remember before having his second heart surgery, I was already living in Chicago at the time, and talking him on the phone.  I said, "Dad, you know I would be more okay with this, if I knew that you would be in Heaven."  He assured me he had accepted Christ as a young boy.  He told me that had already settled it long ago.  I told him he couldn't blame me for my doubts, given that he never came to church with us.  He understood that too.  He assured us of that fact again right before he died.  I know he wanted us to have that peace of mind.
     My father was a good man.  He was a great father, a faithful husband, a constant provider.  He had more good qualities than bad ones.  Somehow, he never felt convicted to be in church.  I think something happened in the church he attended as a youth that caused him not to go back.  He never talked about it.  My grandparents also, who I learned later  had actually helped plant churches, fell away from going.  I don't know what happened that caused disappointment or discouragement, but it kept them from ever returning.  I have to think that a lot of my behavior as a teenager kept my father away as well.  I have to carry that weight with me.  I claimed to be a Christian, but I did not always behave in Christ-like ways.  I was disrespectful and mouthy.  I wish I could shake every teenager by the shoulders, look them square in the eye, and tell them that every word they utter will linger years after it has been said.  If I could have been a better Christian example, I wonder if my father might have seen the changes in my life and rethink his own spiritual growth.  If there is a teenager out there reading this, let me assure you, how you act can have great effect on bringing your parents to Christ if they do not know Him.  What you say, and most importantly how you say it speaks louder than every church service you attend.  My father would never see the different ministries I was involved in at church.  It little mattered to him that I was a puppeteer, in the choir, taught the mission story in children's church.  He didn't see these activities because he wasn't there.  What would have made a big difference is if I had not complained about every thing I was asked to do around the house, if I had not rolled my eyes, stomped my foot, slammed my door when I was forbidden to go somewhere, if I had not sassed my mother and father about the tiniest of things.  Oh, the regret I have.  My mother is likely to tell me that I wasn't bad as all that, but I remember, and I assure you I was.  I can never take back those words or actions.  I've apologized in years since, to mother and father.  Yet, the memories of those years are imprinted.  If I behaved differently, maybe it would have made a difference.  Maybe my father would have seen the necessity to come with us to church.  Teenagers, be careful what you say, and how you say it.  As dumb as you think mom and dad are right now, you will someday see the wisdom in their words.  Don't live with regret as I do.  Be able to look back on your youth years with the satisfaction that you honored your father and mother.  I knew those verses but chose not to follow them.  Things may have been very different in our household if I had obeyed better.  Not that my father was a drunkard or a sluggard or an abuser.  None of that.  But it would have been wonderful for us all to be trying to manage bathroom time to go to church on Sunday morning.  I would love to have heard my father say a prayer.  It would have been nice to have gone to him for spiritual advice.  I don't know that any of that would have taken place, but I know this, I will never know for sure that I am not partially to blame because it didn't.  And that is something I will take into eternity. 

Lift Up Your Heads (Remembering 9/11)

Today's passage:  Luke 21:28
     "And when these things begin to come to pass, then look up, and lift up your heads; for your redemption draweth nigh."
     Ten years ago tomorrow, I lifted my head, started my morning routine, and drove to work.  I taught third grade.  My husband and I (no kids yet) had just bought our house that May.  I was just getting used to the morning rush hour commute, having only been driving to the school for a few weeks.  We live across town, couldn't afford anything on the side of the city where both of us worked, so I spent my usual 35-45 minute ride listening to the radio, thinking about who knows what since I didn't have kids fighting and complaining or asking questions in the back seats.  It is hard to remember what life was like before children, and yet I had a very full and busy one teaching.  I didn't hear the reports on the radio because I arrived early enough for teacher's meeting.  I was actually on time.  In Chicago, you can leave at the same time every day, and still arrive at a different time.  But this morning, I was a little early.  Every morning we had devotions and prayer requests before starting the day.  Our kindergarten teacher is the one who asked for prayer because she heard that a plane had hit the top of the World Trade Center.  As most everyone thought, without having seen any pictures, we assumed a little Cessna had calculated terribly and possibly skimmed the top, only injuring those on board.  It seemed like one of those fluke accidents you sometimes hear about.  As was often my routine, following the meeting, I went into the school kitchen to pour my cup of coffee (this is where I started the caffeine habit) ready to face the day.  Little did I know what a day it was to be.  As I was talking with some co-workers, our principal came into the kitchen and said to us, "Another plane has hit the World Trade Center".  Conversation stopped.  We were in disbelief.  Another one had hit?  Well, then, that had to mean...Yes, he told us, we were under attack.  Living in a city like Chicago, you automatically think you are a target.  We aren't exactly under the radar, and if you have ever seen our downtown, it would be a terrorist's dream.  I can get to O'hare International Airport in ten minutes.  I stress International because if we were at war, and hijacked planes were being used as missiles, what was next?  I tried to process this information as quickly as I could because I had about twenty 8 and 9 year olds to teach that morning.  Children are very intuitive.  They can sense when something is not right.  I was in the middle of Bible class when our school secretary discreetly slipped in and told me another plane had hit the Pentagon.  The Pentagon?  Not 20 years ago, my own father had worked in that building.  Suddenly a personal connection.  I had been to his office.  This is a place I knew.
     Parents started arriving (many who worked downtown, which had mostly been evacuated, just in case) to pick up children.  Some of them because they had nothing else to do for the rest of the day as their workday had ended early, some of them because they felt the sudden need to have their little ones close.  At break times, teachers would visit the school kitchen where a TV had been set up (this was not the norm) so we could catch updates.  This is how we heard about the plane going down in Shanksville, Pennsylvania although we weren't entirely certain if it was related to the other three.  Then I saw replays of the towers crashing to the ground one by one.  We had been given word that all the planes had been grounded.  This was of great relief and great concern.  As I monitored the children playing outside, carefree,  every plane that flew overhead was distressing.  Was it obeying orders to get out of the air, or was it on a renegade mission?  After a while, the sky became eerily quiet.  In Chicago, there always seems to be a plane flying overhead, so the absence of them was odd.
     I drove home listening to the reports of all that happened that day, by that time I had learned that the fourth plane was taken down by the brave passengers on-board.  I heard about many of the rescue workers who had been killed on their way up to save those trapped in the towers.  Arriving home, I switched on the television, toggling between channels that had only the coverage of this horrific day.  It was then that I saw people leaping to their deaths.  I sobbed convulsively.  People trying to escape the flames, but if unsaved, were falling into even greater flames. 
     As I lifted my head that gorgeous Tuesday morning, the weather here as pleasant as it was in New York City, I had no idea what would transpire that day.  As New Yorkers, and Washingtonians and all those who boarded Flight 93 lifted their heads from their pillows, ten years ago, they thought they were going to have an ordinary day.  As those in Manhattan lifted their heads to look up at the devastation above, they saw what looked like unleashed fury. 
     But some of them, in death, lifted their heads, and as they went to glory saw their Redeemer.  One day, I will lift up my head and it will not be to see these disturbing images that are played each year as a reminder to us what happened that day, but it will be to see my Lord and Savior coming to take me Home.  It will be to see Jesus, white robed, gathering all those who have accepted Him as the only Way, to take us to Heaven.  My redemption will be near.  We will never forget what happened on September 11, 2001.  We will never forget those who gave their lives, and those who continue to give lives to save us.  Somebody else gave His life.  It was Jesus Christ, and if you have never accepted Him today, don't wait.  Lift up your head and see that He died for you.  Your redemption is right there, waiting to save you.  You may not need to be saved from a hijacked airplane.  You may not need to be saved from a burning building, but if you do not know where you are going after this life, you may as well be in one of those situations.  Please visit my page:  Understanding Salvation if you have any questions about how you can know for sure that you will see Jesus at the end of this life.  Then one day you can lift up your head and see His hand outstretched to you, as He will to so many others who have accepted Him as their Savior, welcoming you into your eternal Home.

Comparatively

Today's passage: I Samuel 31
    It seems that a warrior's life can end in two ways, at the hands of his enemy (with possible torture preceding it) or by his own hands.  Saul chose the latter, once he was certain he would not be able to escape the Philistines.  Even in death, Saul chose the easy way.  His three sons died fighting.  Saul died by his own sword.  And really, he wasn't even brave enough to do the deed himself.  He pleaded with his armor-bearer to finish him, but this young man was too wise to follow those instructions.  Can you imagine how that might have played out?  This armor-bearer with blood on his sword, and Saul's blood on his hands?  He might have been accused of murder.  How could he explain that the now dead king requested it?  There would have been no witnesses to speak in his defense, and he was not about to be tried for treason.  He declined.  So Saul has no choice but to fall on his sword himself.  Actually he did have another choice, but he knew what happened to kings that fell into enemy hands.  I can't fault Saul for not wanting to die such a horrible death, he was definitely going to die, God had told him this already.  But didn't those who died in torture or a martyr's death become legendary?  I mean, couldn't this have been an opportunity for Saul to leave a lasting legacy?  Battling the Philistines to the death?  The Philistines were going to tear him apart anyway, but doesn't it seem a little less noble when the body is already dead?  I guess I've watched Braveheart one too many times, where William Wallace is tortured but refuses to leave this life without uttering one more anguished "Freedom". 

Saul Falls on His Sword--Taken from Treasures of the Bible
By Henry Davenport Northrop, D. D.
International Publishing Company, 1894

     I just don't think Saul died heroicly.  He copped out.  And still, the Israelites who had fled for the hills by now, have enough sense of duty to travel all night to retrieve Saul's separated body from the Philistine temples and walls to burn it and bury the bones properly.  Thus ends the reign of the first king of Israel.  I wonder if it was everything the Israelites had envisioned?  I wonder when Samuel warned them at the anointing what a monarchy would be like if they expected it to end like this?  I wonder as they dug the hole under the tree at Jabesh, the smell of burnt flesh still in their noses, whether they were looking forward to the next king's reign?  God gave them what they wanted, or what they thought they wanted.  Would they dare go to God and tell Him they no longer wanted a king anymore?  Surely, as far as leaders go, it couldn't get any worse.  And it doesn't with David, or even really with Solomon.  Beyond that, I'm sorry to say, it gets much, much worse. 
     Saul looks angelic compared to future Judean kings.  With his many failings, the Bible does not record him ever leading the nation into idolatry.  Disobedience. Yes.  Greed. Yes.  Occultism.  At times.  If I compare Saul with many of the kings who follow, Saul looks like a pretty decent fellow.  But the Bible very specifically says not to compare ourselves with others.  It is not wise (I Corinthians 10:12).  Reflecting on Saul's life, have I been a little hard on him?  Probably, yes.  But I am hard on myself as well.  Anybody who knows me knows that.  I don't feel I have a hyper-critical spirit, I just have a tendency to always want to improve.  Even as a teacher, I was never satisfied with what I had accomplished that year.  What could I improve for the next school year?  As a parent, I am always looking to see what more I can do to better raise my children.  That is my nature, I'm afraid.  That doesn't mean I look for every flaw, but I am always looking for how God can better use me.  I guess maybe when I read the Bible, I look for the same in those people too.  Isn't that why God put them there?  To learn the lesson?  To get the message?  To follow or not to follow?  As I see the close of this book, the close of Saul's life, I can't help but think about how he could have been so different.  If he had allowed God to work in his life more, if he had asked God more for wisdom, if he had waited on Him.  He was short on patience, and it shortened his life.  Saul was not the worst king there ever was.  Saul had some good qualities (especially in the beginning of his reign).  Saul was a sinning human being, just like me.  Am I too hard on Saul?  Not any harder than I am on myself.  Because I have to compare Saul to the One who made Him.  I have to compare myself to the One who made me.  And when I do, I still have a long way to go.

Kings and Criminals

Today's passage:  I Samuel 20
     One of the greatest fears of my life is to be the victim of a violent crime.  I have been afraid of many things over the years, but little fills me with as much trembling as that thought.  Of course, I have great fears for my children as well, but concerning my own person, the violent crime thing still tops my list.  That's not to say I am not afraid of other events, but I give myself credit that I could keep panic from setting in during other situations.  Perhaps it is my greatest fear because I'm fearful how I would react.  Perhaps it makes me fearful because I am not sure I could respond with grace.  I pray I never have to find out.
     I am trying to get into David's head.  I am wondering why the shepherd boy who had slain a lion, a bear, a giant,  and two hundred Philistines should be afraid of the king of Israel?  There is no question that David is afraid.  He tells Jonathan, "there is but a step between me and death".  And he is right.  Saul is determined to kill him.  But David had already been anointed by Samuel as the next king.  How could he think God had changed His plans?  Fearfulness causes us to do a lot of crazy things.  It just seems strange that David would be fearful of Saul. 
     I think the difference is, Saul was God's anointed at this time.  He sat on the throne, and as far as David is concerned, that means God's hand is upon him.  David had nothing to fear against the Philistines, because they were God's enemy, he would not be afraid to take their lives, because he knew he was in the right.  David had a holy respect and reverence toward the man God had placed on the throne of Israel.  This was who God intended to reign, and David felt defenseless because he would not harm the man God anointed as king. 
     David was not sure if he was right in this situation.  The uncertainty of whether he was in God's will, caused David to be fearful.  David makes a few missteps in this chapter because he was afraid.  Who of us wouldn't?  I have made some wrong decisions because I was fearful, and it takes a real calming of the Spirit to proceed cautiously but wisely.
     When we are fearful, we tend to take matters into our own hands.  David is certain that if he goes to dinner that night, it will be his last supper.  He devises a lie to find out Saul's intentions towards him.  Several times in the Bible, we see how people in the Bible tell a "little white lie".  I don't think I really need to go there.  I think we all know lying under any circumstances is wrong, but God is merciful to us.  We do have to be careful because it is not something we want to make as a continual pattern in our lives, especially when we are afraid.  I don't know how God would have handled the situation, but I know we will never find out since this is the way David chose to handle the matter.  What is more disconcerting, is that he persuades Jonathan to tell the lie for him.  This will put Jonathan in great jeopardy.  Fearfulness blinds us to the danger to which we expose other people.
     Being afraid will cause us to doubt whether we are in God's will.  We assume that if we are in dangerous circumstances, we must be doing something wrong.  David says, "if there be in me iniquity, slay me thyself".  We should search ourselves often.  But if the Lord does not reveal to us that we are involved in sin, we should not automatically assume that God is punishing us, or trying to probe a confession like a detective in an interrogation room.  God doesn't always put us in a frightening situation because He wants to scare the sin out of us.
     Fear caused David to doubt the person he trusted most.  Jonathan had to convince David that he was not involved in a murder plot against him.  David knew this deep down, but nervous anxiety gnawed at him to need Jonathan's reassurance.  Jonathan does, and perhaps this is also why he is willing to lie for David, to prove his loyalty.  This put Jonathan in an awful predicament, and an unfair one too.  Jonathan should not have to prove his friendship, but he loved his friend, understood his fear, and was willing to go the extra mile for him.

Jonathan sends a message to David by shooting an arrow--Taken from Standard Bible Story Reader, Book Three
By Lillie A. Faris, Illustrated by O.A. Stemler and Bess Bruce Cleaveland
The Standard Publishing Company, 1926

     Jonathan says something that I think is very telling.  He tells David, "and the LORD be with thee, as he hath been with my father."  Saul must have put on a show as being very Godly.  The Lord has not been with Saul for a very long while, He has even promised to take Saul off the throne.  Yet, this is Jonathan's father, and he sees God's hand on him.  I'm thinking, if I were David I would tell Jonathan to take back that statement, because if God has been with Saul these last several years, I would rather take my chances on my own.  I'm not sure how the temper tantrums and mood swings still signaled godliness to these two men but I guess since Saul remains on the throne, they assume God is still with him.  God has still allowed him to reign, but I don't think God is still with him.  This is what can make us the most fearful, when we look at circumstances in life, and make assumptions.      
     David and Jonathan assume that because God had not removed Saul from the throne, he was in the right, and they were in the wrong.  God has His own timetable.  God has His own reasons for doing things, and it is not for us to find out why.  If He chooses to reveal His reasoning to us, He will.  In the meantime, we have to trust God.  What does that mean?  I'm going to make up a word.  Trusting God is what I will call a genericalization.  A what?  You know, one of those intangible statements we make to assure people, but really have no idea how to explain.  Trust God.  How do I do that? Maybe instead of saying that I should say: Remember God's promises.  That is something tangible.  Go to His Word, and list all of the places where He says how He will protect us, how He will take care of us.  David's psalms are a great resource for those kinds of verses.  Reading this chapter in I Samuel, I think he knew a little bit about being frightened and depending on the God he could not see to help him.  But what if trusting God means death? For David, he was not so sure it didn't.  God has promised me a home in Heaven if I have accepted His Son as my Savior.  What is so fearful about that?  That is a promise our Christian brothers and sisters in Indonesia, Syria, and Libya are trusting in today.  If that is not God's plan, if there is more than one step between me and death, than I just keep taking a step each day, doing what He has asked me to do, waiting for Him to reveal the rest.
     If I am ever faced with a hardened criminal who wants to take my purse at gunpoint, or threaten to do me bodily harm (thoughts which make my blood run cold) I would need to remember God's promises.  He doesn't promise me that I will never be harmed, He promises me that in some way I don't understand He will sustain me, He will get me through, He will be with me.  If I survive the situation, He has promised me I can endure it.  If I don't survive, He has promised me I will be with Him.  I am fearful because I don't think I can endure, which means I am fearful that God will not keep His Word.  But He always does.  So perhaps, that is the crux of David's fears.  He is afraid God did not mean what He said when He told David he would someday be king.  David is afraid that God will not keep His promise to him.  David is afraid that he has failed Him in some way that would constitute God going back on His Word.  I may have to remind myself what He has said, but I will never have to remind Him.  In David's life, a king was scarier than a giant.  He was sure what God had promised against the giant, but he was a little less sure what God had promised against the king.  But God's promise is the same.  He will go with me. No giant, king or criminal can dispute that.