Apple Bite

Today's passage:  Mark 8:36
     "For what shall it profit a man, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul?"

     Innovator.  Visionary.  Entrepreneur.  Technology Genius.  Inventor.  These are only a few descriptors I have heard, referring to Steve Jobs, co-founder of Apple, Inc.  His products have changed our world.  His death was not a huge surprise, his battle with cancer no big secret.  As with anyone who passes on from this life, I am sad for his family.  I also wonder about his eternal future.  He was once quoted in the Summer 1993 edition of the Wall Street Journal as saying:

"Being the richest man in the cemetery doesn't matter to me...Going to bed at night saying we've done something wonderful...that's what matters to me."

     I have no doubt he was able to go to bed at night knowing he had done something wonderful in this world, I just wonder how much peace he had about the next.  I researched many quotes he gave over the years of his life, some for which I could not find the sources.  Here are some quotes attributed to him:

     "Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life.  Don't be trapped by dogma--which is living with the results of other people's thinking.  Don't let the noise of other's opinions drown out your own inner voice..."  (Taken from a Stanford University Address in 2005)

     "I want to put a ding in the universe."  (I could not find the source.)

     "Here's to the crazy one, the misfits, the rebels, the troublemakers, the round pegs in the square holes...the ones who see things differently they're not fond of rules...You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them, but the only thing you can't do is ignore them because they change things...they push the human race forward, and while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius, because the ones who are crazy enough to think that they can change the world, are the ones who do."  (I could not find the source.)

     "We have always been shameless about stealing great ideas."  PBS series, Triumph of the Nerds (1996)

     "Again, you can't connect the dots looking forward, you can only connect them looking backwards.  So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future.  You have to trust in something--your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever.  This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life."  (Stanford University Address, 2005)

     "I would trade all of my technology for an afternoon with Socrates."  Newsweek, October 29, 2001

     "We want to stand at the intersection of computers and humanism."  (I could not find the source.)

     It may seem heartless to post about the death of a man who may not have known God, or if he knew Him, only in a "He might be out there" sort of way.  I do not write this to bring pain or judgement or criticism.  I just think that when anyone who we deem important passes from this life, it is important to take stock in our own lives, and examine for what or for whom we are living.  As testimonials poured in on the news stations, one image particularly caught my attention.  I could not get the image to embed here, but I have provided the link,  http://abclocal.go.com/wls/video?id=8380876, if you are interested in looking at it.  The very last image of this almost three minute news segment arrested me.  It was something I had not thought about before.  If you choose not to check out the link, I will describe it as best as I can.  Imagine a black background with a black Apple logo.  Just behind this is a white glow appearing from behind the logo with white writing on the black apple.  It is almost as if Jobs is speaking to us from the afterlife.  Somehow that glowing apple reminded me of something.  Although the idea for the logo itself is attributed to Isaac Newton under the apple tree, a more religious icon came to my mind.  A bite out of an apple.  What Bible story does that most frequently reference?  Of course, I would be talking about Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden.  The Bible does not say that the fruit was an apple, but many of the artistic renderings picture just that.  I know Apple's CEO was not making any kind of reference to God or the Bible when he commissioned this logo, but isn't it a little ironic, that everything always points back to God?  The thought of what the bite from the apple symbolizes may have more significance than even he knew.  I have no way of knowing whether this innovative engineer is in Heaven or Hell.  I pray that as he closed his eyes on this earth for one last time, that he uttered a salvation prayer, if he had never done so before in his life.  From all the quotes of his life, it doesn't seem that he ever gave acknowledgement to the God of the universe.  He may have changed our world, but he has no power over the next.
   In an All Things Digital Conference on May 30, 2007, Steve Jobs was talking about how the ITunes software caused Apple to be the largest developer for Microsoft Windows.  Here is what he said:

     "It's like giving ice water to somebody in hell!"

     Let's pray that this was not a prophetic statement for the man himself.  The verse at the top of the post is my husband's favorite.  It really gets to the heart of what life is all about.  We might have creative leanings, we may have ingenious ideas, but if we never give credit to the Creator who put those ideas and dreams in us, we have this life only, and nothing in the next.  The life after this is eternal, I think I would rather be investing in that.

Kings and Criminals

Today's passage:  I Samuel 20
     One of the greatest fears of my life is to be the victim of a violent crime.  I have been afraid of many things over the years, but little fills me with as much trembling as that thought.  Of course, I have great fears for my children as well, but concerning my own person, the violent crime thing still tops my list.  That's not to say I am not afraid of other events, but I give myself credit that I could keep panic from setting in during other situations.  Perhaps it is my greatest fear because I'm fearful how I would react.  Perhaps it makes me fearful because I am not sure I could respond with grace.  I pray I never have to find out.
     I am trying to get into David's head.  I am wondering why the shepherd boy who had slain a lion, a bear, a giant,  and two hundred Philistines should be afraid of the king of Israel?  There is no question that David is afraid.  He tells Jonathan, "there is but a step between me and death".  And he is right.  Saul is determined to kill him.  But David had already been anointed by Samuel as the next king.  How could he think God had changed His plans?  Fearfulness causes us to do a lot of crazy things.  It just seems strange that David would be fearful of Saul. 
     I think the difference is, Saul was God's anointed at this time.  He sat on the throne, and as far as David is concerned, that means God's hand is upon him.  David had nothing to fear against the Philistines, because they were God's enemy, he would not be afraid to take their lives, because he knew he was in the right.  David had a holy respect and reverence toward the man God had placed on the throne of Israel.  This was who God intended to reign, and David felt defenseless because he would not harm the man God anointed as king. 
     David was not sure if he was right in this situation.  The uncertainty of whether he was in God's will, caused David to be fearful.  David makes a few missteps in this chapter because he was afraid.  Who of us wouldn't?  I have made some wrong decisions because I was fearful, and it takes a real calming of the Spirit to proceed cautiously but wisely.
     When we are fearful, we tend to take matters into our own hands.  David is certain that if he goes to dinner that night, it will be his last supper.  He devises a lie to find out Saul's intentions towards him.  Several times in the Bible, we see how people in the Bible tell a "little white lie".  I don't think I really need to go there.  I think we all know lying under any circumstances is wrong, but God is merciful to us.  We do have to be careful because it is not something we want to make as a continual pattern in our lives, especially when we are afraid.  I don't know how God would have handled the situation, but I know we will never find out since this is the way David chose to handle the matter.  What is more disconcerting, is that he persuades Jonathan to tell the lie for him.  This will put Jonathan in great jeopardy.  Fearfulness blinds us to the danger to which we expose other people.
     Being afraid will cause us to doubt whether we are in God's will.  We assume that if we are in dangerous circumstances, we must be doing something wrong.  David says, "if there be in me iniquity, slay me thyself".  We should search ourselves often.  But if the Lord does not reveal to us that we are involved in sin, we should not automatically assume that God is punishing us, or trying to probe a confession like a detective in an interrogation room.  God doesn't always put us in a frightening situation because He wants to scare the sin out of us.
     Fear caused David to doubt the person he trusted most.  Jonathan had to convince David that he was not involved in a murder plot against him.  David knew this deep down, but nervous anxiety gnawed at him to need Jonathan's reassurance.  Jonathan does, and perhaps this is also why he is willing to lie for David, to prove his loyalty.  This put Jonathan in an awful predicament, and an unfair one too.  Jonathan should not have to prove his friendship, but he loved his friend, understood his fear, and was willing to go the extra mile for him.

Jonathan sends a message to David by shooting an arrow--Taken from Standard Bible Story Reader, Book Three
By Lillie A. Faris, Illustrated by O.A. Stemler and Bess Bruce Cleaveland
The Standard Publishing Company, 1926

     Jonathan says something that I think is very telling.  He tells David, "and the LORD be with thee, as he hath been with my father."  Saul must have put on a show as being very Godly.  The Lord has not been with Saul for a very long while, He has even promised to take Saul off the throne.  Yet, this is Jonathan's father, and he sees God's hand on him.  I'm thinking, if I were David I would tell Jonathan to take back that statement, because if God has been with Saul these last several years, I would rather take my chances on my own.  I'm not sure how the temper tantrums and mood swings still signaled godliness to these two men but I guess since Saul remains on the throne, they assume God is still with him.  God has still allowed him to reign, but I don't think God is still with him.  This is what can make us the most fearful, when we look at circumstances in life, and make assumptions.      
     David and Jonathan assume that because God had not removed Saul from the throne, he was in the right, and they were in the wrong.  God has His own timetable.  God has His own reasons for doing things, and it is not for us to find out why.  If He chooses to reveal His reasoning to us, He will.  In the meantime, we have to trust God.  What does that mean?  I'm going to make up a word.  Trusting God is what I will call a genericalization.  A what?  You know, one of those intangible statements we make to assure people, but really have no idea how to explain.  Trust God.  How do I do that? Maybe instead of saying that I should say: Remember God's promises.  That is something tangible.  Go to His Word, and list all of the places where He says how He will protect us, how He will take care of us.  David's psalms are a great resource for those kinds of verses.  Reading this chapter in I Samuel, I think he knew a little bit about being frightened and depending on the God he could not see to help him.  But what if trusting God means death? For David, he was not so sure it didn't.  God has promised me a home in Heaven if I have accepted His Son as my Savior.  What is so fearful about that?  That is a promise our Christian brothers and sisters in Indonesia, Syria, and Libya are trusting in today.  If that is not God's plan, if there is more than one step between me and death, than I just keep taking a step each day, doing what He has asked me to do, waiting for Him to reveal the rest.
     If I am ever faced with a hardened criminal who wants to take my purse at gunpoint, or threaten to do me bodily harm (thoughts which make my blood run cold) I would need to remember God's promises.  He doesn't promise me that I will never be harmed, He promises me that in some way I don't understand He will sustain me, He will get me through, He will be with me.  If I survive the situation, He has promised me I can endure it.  If I don't survive, He has promised me I will be with Him.  I am fearful because I don't think I can endure, which means I am fearful that God will not keep His Word.  But He always does.  So perhaps, that is the crux of David's fears.  He is afraid God did not mean what He said when He told David he would someday be king.  David is afraid that God will not keep His promise to him.  David is afraid that he has failed Him in some way that would constitute God going back on His Word.  I may have to remind myself what He has said, but I will never have to remind Him.  In David's life, a king was scarier than a giant.  He was sure what God had promised against the giant, but he was a little less sure what God had promised against the king.  But God's promise is the same.  He will go with me. No giant, king or criminal can dispute that.

Gethsemane Times

Today's passage:  John 18
     I do not feel capable enough to comment on the next few passages of Scripture.  Do the chapters affect me?  Yes.  Do I take anything from them?  Yes.  Do I see anything new?  Sure.  But I feel ill equipped to explain Christ's suffering, because I have never suffered.  Nobody has suffered as Christ has, but I feel there are people close to me who have a much better idea of what testing is.  I am surrounded by people going through difficulties. It seems almost callous to sit at a computer screen some days talking about trusting in God, and allowing Him to work through me.  Sometimes it sounds so generic and fake. I don't feel that way when I'm writing it, but then I look at people who are living their faith in a tangible way, and think to myself, "What do I know?" The faith that is tangible is a cousin's family who day in and day out tend to their comatose son and his various medical emergencies.  The tangible trials are the ones of my in-laws coping with the daily struggle of her adjusting to life in a wheelchair because bone cancer has taken her ability to walk.  I'm not sure why I am going down these avenues today.  I just have been thinking recently that I can read God's Word, I can get joy from sharing it, I can feel like God has shown me something to apply in my life, but I look at people around me who understand far better than I do.  I would venture that there are people who could understand Christ's turmoil better than I can.  I am sure that persecuted Christians around the world are in their own Gethsemane right now.  These people understand that they may be facing death head-on soon.  They could empathize with Christ's arrest, trial and subsequent persecution.  I can't.

Jesus Prays in the Garden--Taken from Standard Bible Story Readers, Book Six
By Lillie A. Faris, Illustrated by O.A. Stemler and Bess Bruce Cleaveland
The Standard Publishing Company, 1929

     The more I see trials in the lives of people around me, the more I realize I don't know anything.  I've said before that I really only want to sympathize with others, I don't really want that empathy.  But then again, will I ever really understand God's work without those testings?  If you are going through some Gethsemane times in your life, I'm sure you are thinking, "Here, sister, you can certainly have mine."  I am not saying I would gladly take them, because I wouldn't.  I am just saying, you, who are going through these rough patches, are closer to God for them.  Easy for me to say, right?  Yes, easy, and hard.  Easy because I can sit here, knowing that so far, my life has been peaceful and easy.  Hard, because I don't know what to say to those of you who are having difficulties.  I can say the trite thing, "Trust God".  I can quote numerous passages of Scripture about how God can comfort you in your troubles.  I don't even know if anyone reading this today is having troubles.  I know this, someday you might be.  And so will I.  Maybe I'm writing this for posterity's sake, for when I am further down the road in my life and I look at the hurdles ahead.  When I think I can't make it over the hurdle, I can look back at the time in my life when there were none, and see how God has brought me along.  I'm obviously in a very reflective mood today, and really don't feel like I've shared much.  Yet, I feel better just getting it out there, regardless of who reads this.  Jesus went to His Gethsemane to gather strength from His Father, maybe God is just preparing me for mine.